By: Mark Pygas/Distractify Summer is fast approaching, which means that we’ll probably be hearing more and more about the ridiculous dress codes that schools enforce. Last month, a sixth grader led a successful protest after she was threatened with detention for wearing a razor-back tank top.
And now, a mother is inviting her middle school principal to take her daughter clothes shopping after she was sent home with a note two days in a row for having the audacity to wear shorts in warm weather.
Catherine Guggenheimer Pearlman took to social media to share a photo of the shorts, which were apparently inappropriate because they stopped short of her daughter’s fingertips.
Pearlman explained on a community post on the Today website that her daughter is tall for her age, making it hard to find anything that meets the dress code and inviting the principal of the school to try and do so.
“Thank you for sending a note home for the second day in a row to say my daughter was dressed inappropriately for school,” the letter starts. “I’d like to offer an additional thank you for forcing her to change into large mesh shorts that have been worn by, only god knows who and potentially never washed.”
“To reward you for treating my daughter with such concern, I am cordially inviting you to take my daughter shopping.”
“Here are the specifications you have to work with. I wish you loads of luck.She is 5’7” and 13 years old. Built more like her father, she has exceptionally long legs and arms.”
“She doesn’t like anything pink or purple or frilly.”
“She won’t wear pants because she gets overheated easily. Trust me I’ve seen this. It will cause a scene in the schoolyard.”
“She absolutely will not wear a dress either.”
“No item of clothing can have a logo visible because to her that’s not cool. She will, however, wear any type of superhero, Green Day or USFL T-shirt if you can find them. You might be able to try for an occasional Beatles reference but that’s touch and go.”
“Now, don’t forget that you will have to find something in the stores that also meets with your dress code requirements. Here are the tricky areas that are most difficult to avoid. As per your policy, she cannot wear tank tops. Shorts and skirts must not extend to the end of the fingertips (This is a toughie.)”
“So, if I were you (and I’m glad I’m not) I’d focus on the shorts first. She has very long fingers which seem to make finding shorts that won’t get her sent to the principal’s office impossible (On the bright side the piano teacher says those fingers are an asset.). I’d schedule a few afternoons and weekends for this endeavor. I can tell you from experience that just heading to the mall, Target and the outlets won’t cut it. Not much for her there. I’ve already checked.”
“One last point: please try to stay within a reasonable budget. We can’t spend a fortune on her wardrobe. She is still growing after all.”
“I thank you endlessly for taking on this chore. What a relief for me.”
“Sincerely,”
“Sick Of The Dress Code Mom”
“P.S. I forgot to thank you for making it clear to my daughter that her body is somehow a distraction, either to herself or to the boys. I thought she might have missed the message earlier in the year when the gym teacher told her she couldn’t wear yoga pants because the boys aren’t able to control themselves. I appreciate how hard you are working to drive the point home.”
Hell hath no fury like a mother scorned.
